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If I Could Be Honest

from Lake House Blues by Payton Andrew Green

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lyrics

Loved you so much that I drove you away.
Worried 'bout tomorrow, lost track of today.
Don't know what it is, makes me act this way;
my head's swimmin' in things that I wish I could say.

My room's piled with guitars and books I ain't read;
they weigh down on me like a gun to my head.
Went to church for communion, they ran out of bread.
Did Jesus have things that he wished he'd'a said?

If I could be honest, I'd tell you I care
- I like the sound of your voice and the smell of your hair.
If I could be honest, I'd make some kinda stand;
I'd have some destination, some kinda plan.
If I could honest, I'd be a different man.

Well the games that we're playin, they ain't the fun kind
- they prod at your heart and they tear at your mind.
Don't know what you seek, but convinced that you'll find
some fruit, soft and supple, all stripped of its rind.

Well the lamps are plugged in, but the bulbs are burnt out.
In darkness we stumble upstream like some trout.
Like the famous arachnid's doomed trek up the spout,
our aims are profane - our struggle, devout.

If I could be honest, I'd tell you I'm broke.
My bank statements read like some cruel long-form joke.
If I could be honest, I wouldn't be less than;
I wouldn't be survivin' on soup out the can.
If I could be honest, I'd be a different man.

A man I admire once implied I was smart...
it nurtured my head and it poisoned my heart.
Now that ain't the message he meant to impart
(intentions are birds flown in front of a car).

That last rhyme I wrote wasn't quite up to snuff:
this is less of a poem, and more of a bluff.
I called myself on it, now ain't that enough?
Man, this songwritin' business sure can be rough.

If I could be honest, I'd tell you a lie
- I can't muster the truth, it don't mean I don't try.
If I could be honest, I'd be a flash in the pan;
there's now way that you ever woulda clung to my hand.
If I could be honest, I'd be a different man.

If I could be honest, I'd be a different man.

credits

from Lake House Blues, released December 11, 2019

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Payton Andrew Green Austin, Texas

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